Everybody has the ability do anything they want. In fact, I always felt, if i put my heart into anything I do, I fare well. Whatever I do or have done, can be done by any one and much beyond too. The reason I am what I am now, is not because of any body else, but because of my own self. As they say, I got in my own way. These are the 10 commandments of my life now, and which I want to change for good.
|Myself- 2008||Myself- 2010|
|1. Very procrastinating||1. Very very procrastinating|
|2. Taking minimal things personally||2. Taking things way too personally|
|3. Trying to change others (as if I am perfect! )||3. Trying to change others (thinking I am perfect!)|
|4. Never letting fear run my Life||4. Letting fear run the major part of my Life|
|5. Never was envious of others||5. Being envious sometimes |
|6. Giving advice when they want something else||6. Giving advice when they want something else |
and if possible rub it in by pointing out their mistakes
|7. Saying yes when I want to say No||7. Saying a BIG Yes when I want to say No|
|8. Getting so angry that I make things worse||8. Getting very angry that I make things irreversible|
|9. Never playing it safe, always take risks||9. What is safety? Life is full of risks!|
|10. Trying to take care of everybody||10. Trying to take care of everybody and do more|
1. There is always a confusion between urgency and priority. Procrastination is something that we all deal with, in our lives. I have always procrastinated. If you ask me why I procrastinate? I can come up with few answers (Oh yes, I can always justify my stand with the given assumptions I have about that subject, and you bet I do it often.) I tend to attend to "comfort" tasks which are most convenient, interesting, or within reach. Priority is sacrificed for convenience. For instance, writing this blog post, when I am supposed to be writing a paper.
2. Well, we all take many things personally. As the sentence suggests "personally" is purely subjective and "personal". Just think of incidents where you felt you were emotionally punched. These incidents have nothing to do with actual facts. They’re all about your translations and how you perceived it. You feel you don't get credit for what you do. Not all you do will be liked by everyone. Just go by this.... swswswsw ( “Some will. Some won’t. So what? Someone’s waiting!”) and of course not every one is as jobless as you.
3 & 6. Ha.. This one's my favorite. I will tell you why. I presume we all, including the person who is reading this, feel that our sense of right and wrong, is right and wrong. We think we know the best and the worst of life and can improve others life with our advices. But in reality, its not so. Simply because, we all face different situations and different people. So still, why do we try to change others? Hmmm, one intuitive reason could be because we want them that way. Then that's being selfish. And also there is this self-justifying factor, "I-dont-try-to-change-people's mind. I just give them my point of view on the subject , and they can choose whether to accept it or not". I have been trying to accept people as they are, but I should say I haven't fulfilled that to the extent I want to.
4. Fear is what that puts me in the backseat even now. If you ask me fear of what?, I have no answer.
5. Envy.. Well, as long as it is healthy and does not affect me, I don't mind envying others. I try to emulate them and it is good in a way.
7. This has been my second most biggest problem. I cant say no for shit. Only because, I do not want to hear no from others, and I feel empathetic when people ask me something. But I should seriously start changing this habit of mine.
8. Anger.Many have spoken about this in the past. I need not add any more to it. The word summarizes what I want to say.
9. This one is actually under my control now. I can stop it if I want to. One of the few things I can say with confidence that I can do. But however there are people who still believe I cant. You have two sides to a coin.
10. This is by far my biggest problem. I think I am here to take care of others whoever needs me. However, I am not. I need to take care of myself first. And by that, I do not mean I should be selfish and take care of my own stuff. I need to have a superposition of my priorities and my crave to help others in need. I feel that after listening and caring about the needs of others, I need a break from all this. But what works even better is to have the world reciprocate by listening and caring about me in the same way. Mirror Neurons are special nerve cells in our cerebral cortex that fire when we watch another person do something, imagine ourselves doing the same thing or when we actually do the same thing. They are what are behind the phenomenon of yawning when others yawn. They are also thought to be behind imitation, learning and empathy. My observation which is borne out by my socializing practice with this murky world is that each time I conform psychologically and emotionally to others needs, (haha :P) I get a reciprocal hunger to have it be returned . That is my ache to be mirrored.
Ps:- This little retrospect of myself was to give myself a dose of what and how I behave with the society. This was in pure intention to criticize my own self and not to hurt anybody else who might relate to this in any form or manner.
PPs:- There is a Ted Talk by famous neuro-scientist, V S Ramachandran on mirror neurons. Pretty awesome!